triple pause

It takes a while for me to be able to stop.... to stop doing this kind of thing... hahahahaha... particularly this love of writing ... it might take forever to stop this...

 I did pause for some months for i was emotionally unstable... I guess I was confused on what I want to do with my life. Now I'm better off alone and I am also conditioning myself to work abroad. To not see my family for more than a year or should I say years if I like it there... I am now extremely decided that I'll do it. I'm not going to back off now. This is something that holds me to good future. I'm now afraid that  I'm not be able to compensate my own self  when I'm old. so I hope I'll be able to do it there... :) pray for me.... :)

extremely defeated

I guess I am so defeated when it comes to my mind and body. 

It had been a hellish day for me, from my work, to my idiot friend and as well to my idiot self.... 

It have looked like I was the one who started it and I guess I have to admit I am, but the point is,

I have been so damn tired. 

I guess I have to really go out of her way. 10 years? 

No big deal for her? Might as well for me. 

To be completely out of her way could lead me to new things, 

to be more able to discover myself and to stand on my own without her help or anything. 

If I'll remember it  correctly, 

as much as possible I never really asked help when I can really do it alone. I'm not used to asking help nor, to be indebted to someone else.

I think right now I have to focus on what i want in the future. 

Well as they said... out of sight ... out of mind.

a new blog

This is something like a christening of my self again. A new me, but still with the same face. A new attitude but remains some mild- manner behaviors. This blog would be something like no one would care nor bother to read, for it only goes on to what runs in my head. If people started reading this... I would be humbly thankful enough in reading it. I hope to my friends and foes no one of them discovers this.... scary enough for I'll spill all my emotions here and my sentiments in my life.... :)