extremely defeated

I guess I am so defeated when it comes to my mind and body. 

It had been a hellish day for me, from my work, to my idiot friend and as well to my idiot self.... 

It have looked like I was the one who started it and I guess I have to admit I am, but the point is,

I have been so damn tired. 

I guess I have to really go out of her way. 10 years? 

No big deal for her? Might as well for me. 

To be completely out of her way could lead me to new things, 

to be more able to discover myself and to stand on my own without her help or anything. 

If I'll remember it  correctly, 

as much as possible I never really asked help when I can really do it alone. I'm not used to asking help nor, to be indebted to someone else.

I think right now I have to focus on what i want in the future. 

Well as they said... out of sight ... out of mind.